Sunday, February 12, 2012

A Love Letter

Does every parent think about their child's birth on every birthday that child has?  Well, I do... and it always chokes me up.

Eight years ago today, I gave birth to my twins via c-section.  My son was born at 2 lbs, 5 oz.  Two minutes later my daughter was born at 1 lb, 15 oz.  The line between complete joy and complete sorrow had never been thinner.

After three months of heart surgeries, tubes, needles, blood work and tears, I was able to bring them home. Every day I counted my blessings that they were still alive, and thriving.  I had seen them stop breathing so many times in the NICU that I knew it could happen at the drop of a hat.  They had died a thousand times in my head.

I have so many wishes for my children... but some of them are selfish, I must admit. And a whole lot of them naive...

May you never tell me you hate me, but if you do, may you only mean it for a fleeting moment.

May you never be embarrassed to be seen with me in public.  In turn, I promise to never show up in curlers and pajama bottoms.

May you never make the driving mistakes I did when I was younger, relying on the skill of other drivers to avoid an accident.

May you never pick up a cigerette.

May you stay healthy.

May you cherish your childhood, as I promise to make it the best that I can.

May you acknowledge that.

May you recognize my mistakes, forgive me for them, and learn from them.

May you never take anyone for granted.

May you always say "I love you" with your good byes, b/c whether you are getting on the bus to go to school down the road, or getting on a plane to go to college, I will always have the fleeting thought that it may be the last time I see you.

Please don't need a plane to go to college!

May you date someone who treats you like garbage, but only for a little bit, so when "the one" does come along, you will know how lucky you are.

May you marry someone who treats you like your father treats me...

May your best friend be your twin.  May you realize how lucky you are that they are alive.

May you realize how lucky you are to be alive.

And may you have children.  For it is only then will you realize how much I love you.